Home: time and surprise
time and surprise
It's been a wonderful two months, hasn't it? I don't know how it happened - not exactly - but somehow, you've become quite entangled in my life. Somehow, you're always with me. In the car, listening to the radio, I catch myself wanting to sing along to a song with you. In a store, I'll see something you'd like, and wish you were there so I could show you, and see you smile.
It happened quite quickly, really. From our first date, I knew that you were special. We meshed so quickly, so completely, that I got nervous. We all have baggage, and mine is still in the process of being packed, but I didn't care. I wanted more. I wanted to talk to you day and night. I wanted to touch you. I wanted to wrap you in my arms, and make you feel safe.
That's a dangerous feeling for someone like me. You see, I've made enough mistakes in my life to know that I can't really protect someone and still care about them the same way. I have to give them enough room to make their own mistakes. I have to make them stand on their own, even when it would be easier to let them lean on me, or let me fix something for them. And somehow, I knew that you knew that too. You stood on your own, and you liked it.
And still, with all that independence, strength and competence, you glow when I tease you. You purr when I take you. Your heart beats faster, and your breathing quickens when you're helpless before me. You blush when I tell you what to do. And your voice catches in your throat when I make you ask for more. You love the games I play, and you want to play some games of your own. You want to be mine, in all the different ways that the word can be taken. You've taken my collar, and you're still a brat, still fiesty and strong.
And still, you think I'm wonderful. You tell me how you feel, you tell me that I make you happy, and you tell me that I make you feel safe. You tell me how special I make you feel, and how special I am to you.
I know you're scared, angel. I know that there's a lot for each of us to deal with, but I'm not afraid. I know how you feel about me. I know how I feel about you. There are words that dance in the back of my head every time I talk to you. They keep demanding that I shout them out to the world, but they'll stay where they are for now. I'll keep them to myself until I know you're ready to hear them. But they are there, nonetheless.
Thank you so very much for the last two months, angel. I hope we have many, many more ahead of us.
posted at 12:45 PM ::
filed under events
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