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question and answer
Dearest angel of mine,
You asked me the other day if I would want you to wear my collar openly. I declined to answer, and gave you a point for making me think about myself. Because I have had to think about this before I'm able to answer it fully.
Part of me wants you to wear a collar in public. That's the part of me that wants to embarrass you because it turns you on, you naughty exhibitionist, you. I'd love to watch you squirm while you walked down the street with me. I know that your imagination would have you jumping every time someone looked at you, because you'd be sure that they noticed, and wondered. You'd also beam with pride because you're proud to wear my collar, aren't you, angel?
It's the same part of me that loves to whisper naughty threats or suggestions in your ear in public. Like the time we were waiting for our food to be made at a local sub shop, and I whispered to you that I was going to spank you when we finished lunch. You were absolutely sure that the guy making our subs had heard me, weren't you? And you were so amazingly turned on by it, and by your own reaction. I love to make you squirm and blush, angel, because you get so excited by it.
But then I start thinking about my reaction to other people forcing me to acknowledge *their* sexuality, and I reconsider. I support people of "non-mainstream" sexuality as a general rule. I don't care what they want to do, or who they want to do it to (up to a point, of course), as long as there is informed consent on all sides. Human sexuality is a complex thing, and there is no "one size fits all" plan. Throughout human history, there has been patriarchy, matriarchy, arranged marriages, love matches, male-to-male and female-to-female relationships, monogamy, polygamy, group marriage, open marriage, and celibacy. There are those that engage in fetish play (of astonishingly wide variety), bondage, sadism and masochism, spanking, dominance and submission, pain play, humiliation play, and more. In short, there are so many different ways that people get their rocks off, that I can't say, definitively, what mainstream is.
However, I'm a firm believer in the Golden Rule. (No, you brat, not "He who has the gold makes the rules...", the OTHER golden rule.) I try my best to treat others as I'd like them to treat me, and I don't necessarily want to know about my friends and co-workers' sex lives. I don't want to know that the person waiting at the bus stop with me is a foot fetishist. I don't want to know that the person serving me coffee at the local Starbucks likes to experiment with heavy duty needle play. And I don't care that the person taking care of my cat is seeing 5 men, and likes her boyfriends submissive, so that they can be bent over and spanked. As long as they maintain a professional attitude in their jobs, then I can live without the added drama of knowing what they do in their time off.
I like to speculate, though. I like to do a little free range peoplewatching, and try to figure out what people are like from how they act in public. But, as you know, I like a challenge. I don't like having someone else's insecurity flaunted in my face. I'm secure enough in my sexuality that I made it a criteria when I was looking. I've avoided relationships with vanilla women, because I *am* sure that BDSM play is part of me. I have some ideas, about some of my vanilla friends, and I have some concrete knowledge about some of my kinky friends. But I tend to keep my sexuality to myself, because it makes things simpler for those that *don't* want to know. And lets face it, not everyone wants to know what their friends do to get their rocks off.
So, in answer to your question to me, angel - I would love it if you wore my collar, in public, to a munch where other people involved in BDSM were meeting. I may one day take you to a play party wearing my collar, and make you watch as other folks climb up on spanking benches to play. I may tell you, one day, to get up on such a spanking bench yourself. But I think I'll get you something discreet to wear in public, to mark you as mine. Perhaps a small anklet, with a cat and wings, that you can wear 24/7. Think of it as my attempt to live by the credo of the Golden Rule.
However - be assured that you are mine, and I don't want to share you with anyone. I've been amazingly lucky to have you in my life these past four months, angel.
posted at 05:13 PM ::
filed under musings
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